Queers Read This!

    Hey Kings, Queens and all kinds of Royalty! I hope you had an amazing Mel weekend! September is nearly over 😥, but that means pumpkin season will be upon us!
    Although there were some scares along the way (pro tip: if you lose your ID don’t worry, you can still make it on a plane), I had a really fun and eventful weekend at the O4U conference. For those of you who aren’t as familiar, their conferences are really amazing and life-changing opportunities, and I highly encourage you all to apply come the spring semester (and for all my business besties, their conference apps are now open, so scroll down to find out more).
    Anyways, we have a GMM this week featuring our lovely friends at the Greene center, so please stop by!

This Week

Coming Up

Queer Invisibility

People who are read as queer tend to face more overt discrimination and hostility, while those of us with fewer obvious subcultural signifiers can slide by without much confrontation. This doesn't, however, necessarily mean that we feel safer.

- Lindsay King-Miller

    Welcome to my first queer highlight of the semester! For those of y’all who are new here, queer highlights are essentially pieces on anything from breaking down and explaining queer theory, to highlighting various aspects of the LGBTQ+ community. I try to do these at least once a month and maybe more depending on my mood. I hope that through these highlights, you can learn a little more and see how vast and diverse LGBTQ+ history and culture are.

    This piece has been thought up in my head for a while (I might make it a two or three parter) but recently I’ve gotten the chance to finally write about it, and being at O4U this weekend really helped solidify my thoughts (note: this has been on the docket for so long and was delayed a lot so I apologize for how unstructured it is). The following quote is from a column piece written by Lindsay King-Miller, a prominent bisexual author and journalist, and it addresses the issue of feeling invisible as a queer person. Being in the community can come in many different forms, whether you're out and proud or are still figuring things out, don’t feel safe coming out or in some cases, you may not be as overt and are often read as being straight or cis-het. For many in the latter category, while it can be a privilege to pass through cis-het and heteronormative spaces, it can also feel isolating and lead to feelings of being invalid even within the community. Psychologist Shannon Chavez writes “Not being recognized as queer—especially when you were used to being read as such—can lead to problems with identity. This invisibility can even lead to mental-health issues and disconnection from your true self and identity.” From being told that “you don’t look queer enough” or even being asked questions like “what does your husband/wife do,” the feeling of not being able to fully express yourself or often being misunderstood/mislabeled can be frustrating and even dehumanizing. While it’s amazing to see the progress going on in representation and expression, for many of these people, it’s hard to feel seen, included or accommodated within queer spaces. This is particularly true in bisexual or asexual communities, as many can appear in straight-passing relationships and are thus treated as being “less queer” or not as queer as others as a result.
    Speaking from personal experience as someone who doesn’t present as overtly queer, there are definitely moments where I grapple with feelings of validity about my identity and whether I even belong in the community (this isn’t helped by me only discovering myself in college). But being in communities like the UofR, as well as oSTEM and O4U have taught me that there isn’t a defined way of being queer, and it looks and manifests differently for everyone. Yes, you can be bisexual or asexual in a heterosexual/romantic relationship and still be queer, and yes, you can have aspects of your gender expression match your assigned gender at birth and still use differing pronouns. Ultimately, the message I want to evoke is that although we all look & present differently and have varying experiences, none of that diminishes our queerness and sense of identity.

References:

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/advice/a6323/invisible-queer-femme/

https://www.wellandgood.com/queer-invisibility/