Exhausted
Hello everyone,
My name is Sunnie and I was the 5th Eboard member of color on College Feminists. I was elected as the 3rd Co-President of Color following wonderful former Co-Presidents, Isabella Leighton and Cindy Le (within the last three years). In the long history of College Feminists at the University of Rochester, I was the 5th Eboard member of color in College Feminists.
I want to share my story. If you don't have time to read, please read the last four or five paragraphs.
I had a stable life until my mother and I moved to the United States. Then, I suffered from racist bullies at school, followed by racist comments made by ignorant and insensitive members of society. I witnessed my mom get beat up by white men and women, including getting bruises from encounters with police officers. A Family Court Judge explicitly told my mom that "a non-white mother should not raise a half-white child." Child Protective Services visited our family multiple times because people believed that Mongolian spots on Asian babies were a sign of abuse, because ginseng was a stimulant drug, and because women of color should not question or come in contact with white men without firm legal permission and consent. We had to constantly explain ourselves and our struggles and no one listened. We were one of 2.7% and 4.0% of Asians in regions we resided in.
I had to write all of my mother's court papers and defend her even when she was getting more and more violent towards me. She was rejected by therapists and had to heal from PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety alone. To heal and to get away from the toxic home environment, I applied Early Decision to the University of Rochester and hoped for the best.
Coming to the University of Rochester was great in the beginning. With my background, I was offered an option to participate in the 2017 Early Connection Opportunity and I really felt at home there. ECO friends and OMSA and CCAS advisors were so empathetic and compassionate, I really felt warm inside. I felt honored and touched when I was offered the Brady Scholarship after completing the program. I cannot express enough gratitude towards all the help and love I received from my advisors and friends. However, this dynamic changed the Spring of my first year.
I had to start working 3 - 5 jobs to sustain a living at the university and my mom's requests were getting heavier and heavier. For one year, I had to help my mom at the maximum level and in the spring of my sophomore year, I lost a friend to depression. He was Asian American.
I started noticing microaggressions and biases against the Asian American communities on campus, including close surroundings of mine. These moments were very small until the recent COVID-19 pandemic changed the dynamic as a whole.
Recently, we (a few eboard members and I) had to explain what "Hate Crimes Against Asian Americans Rise" meant to one of the staff members. We were asked several questions about this and they seemed to be searching about this online to fact check us. When we explained further, they claimed that this was "not in [their] radar." This was not the first time that we had to continuously explain ourselves and defend ourselves, our rights, and reason to be respected as humans of Rochester.
Another staff member believed that our fundraising idea to support and spread awareness about Comfort Camp Survivors in Korea did not fit the mission statement of College Feminists. Though the College Feminists mission statement is very exclusive and neglects to support or mention so many women, BIPOC, and different feminist values, this one fit the mission statement in discussing "international feminist issues." Then we were expected to explain how Comfort Camp Survivors' Struggles were a "Feminist Issue."
We are now in the process of making the mission statement more inclusive and reasonable.
I have a passion to raise awareness about feminist issues and cultures. We all do, in the eboard. Race is a Feminist Issue and we must accept this as a fact. We lost an eboard member who did not truly agree with us on this matter. We must treat each other with respect and always follow the university's suggestion on being inclusive in groups, especially a group like College Feminists. I am extremely exhausted from explaining one hour to another, standing up for myself because my culture and struggles are not valid to some people.
Please pay attention to the news and be aware that Asian American Hate Crimes are rising. This is not new. Another Asian man was murdered by police, the same way George Floyd was murdered. This is not acceptable. When White kids are being told not to watch PG-13 or R-rated movies, Children of Color watch their Parents, Family, Friends, Community Leaders, Neighbors, get beaten in the streets by Civil Servants and members of the White community. This is not acceptable. THIS IS NOT NEW.
We want to build an inclusive and safe place for the members of our organization and our campus. We want to let our members know that they are not alone in struggling through discrimination and hateful comments, actions, and so much more. I want to remind everyone that Violence is not just physical. There are so many forms of violence and you have the right to speak about your perceptions, experiences, and when and what made you feel excluded or hurt. You have the power to determine what are issues to you or not. No one should question your trauma or experiences.
We are currently in the process of gathering groups together to hold a discussion about Asian American Hate Crimes along with other issues that BIPOC communities had to face and have to face.
We want to be by your side in your journey at the university. We want to listen if you have a story to share. This is only my story out of many. Please remember that you are never alone.
With sincerity and love,
Sunnie Limson.
|